Lift up the receiver, I'll make you a believer

Well, well, well... here we are again.... and WHAT exactly would i have to say today? I know, a lot of people are probably cringing, waiting for the oh woe is me, fuck my life shit.... sorry to disappoint you kiddies, but i don't play that way anymore.

So thus hear marks a new chapter of my life. Yawn! how boring! who hasn't heard that before, right?
I agree but I have the spent the last couple weeks coming to terms with a lot of things in my life. So read on and learn with me... cuz this is only the beginning and it's only going to get better from here...

~My baby bro just got married. Love my new sister, loved the wedding, did my first keg stand, talk about classy eh? but i decided to give myself one last hurrah cuz its my bro's wedding before i decided that was it... more to come on that..

~I missed 2 wrestling shows this weekend cuz of my bro's wedding. TWO!!!! it hurts :( lol, i'm jk... yeah it sucks i wasn't there but it was my bro's wedding, I'm sure i was missed though.. i mean I'm really good at pressing the play button for entrance music... REALLY GOOD!!!!!!

~I miss wrestling with all that I am. like it's a physical ache to not be able to do anything and i've been tired of it for awhile but now it's just been pushed too far and a fire has been lit under my ass and it's time to fix it all up and take the world by storm.

~I'm changed, that's all i can say. if you don't like it, oh well, i'm done caring.

~Right now, it's all about me. I'm focusing on myself, i'm worrying just about myself, it's just ME. and no one is going to change this...it''s been a long fucking time since i've been this focused so don't think that anyone or anything can change this cuz you know what? you cant! i'm TOO focused this time and i plan to keep it this way.

~i said earlier, i'm straight up now. It's a personal choice that I"VE made so i can take time to focus on me. Yes that means no more drinking(i didn't do that a lot but when i did, oh boy was i good at it) yes that means no drugs (not that i did really anyways, but you get what i'm saying, right?) and no more other things that i won't get into right now but i know it and that's all that matters.

~I've been told that I have the worst luck ever and this is now my response to it.... FUCK THAT!!!! this whole called luck thing is no longer a factor in my life because it's a whole new ball game now. One where i say fuck that stupid thing called Luck, i make my own way now...

~I know what i have to do now, i know what i have to work towards and it's going to be done. I was feeling like it was all too late now, that there really isn't much of a point. But one person turned that all around, reminded me that it wasn't over and i could still do whatever i wanted. Who says i can't? and even if someone does say that, who am i to listen? why should i listen? Why can't i say fuck it all and go do what i know i'm damn well capable of.

Don't count me out of the game yet because i'm not done, not by a long shot...


Listening to: Marilyn Manson- Personal Jesus