You ever....?

You ever hit that moment where half of you wants to cry, when it feels like your heart's been stomped on and you're left kneeling in the dirt, picking it up and dusting it off trying to tell it that it's okay and you promise never to do it again even though you know it's a filthy lie?

You ever feel that you were somebody's punching bag, that you were used up and just tossed aside time and again but still didn't walk away because you stupidly held on, hoping they would see this time, what they're doing to you only to have them do it all over again?

You ever feel like you've bent over backwards to help a friend, to make everything better for them even while ignoring your own personal issues only to basically be told to get lost?

You ever give advice until you're blue in the face to help someone going through a rough time, only to have them completely ignore you, to tell you you're wrong?

You ever pick up the pieces to someone's broken heart to watch their pain and struggle, to hurt for them, to want to cry for them to do everything you can to cheer them up, only for them to go right back to do it again?

You ever feel like just maybe you've given your everything and you're far too afraid to give anymore because you don't want to be trampled on again, even though they're swearing up and down it will be different this time?

You ever feel that something is holding you back from trusting again because you can only take so much until you crack under it all?

Yeah, me neither....

A letter for my Nieces and Nephews

Dear Nieces and Nephews:

It's my birthday and with the arrival of the latest Niece, I wanted to write something to you.

You are young, you have your whole lives ahead of you, you have your whole childhoods which will be full of fun, laughter, some tears but LOTS of love from everyone around you. One thing you will NEVER lack is love because every single one of your family loves you more than you'll ever know.

But there will be some bumps in the road as you grow up and sometimes you won't know what to do but no matter what those bumps are, how big they are, you will get over them, you will succeed at whatever you put your mind to because you are part your Fathers and part your Mothers and they are all strong and wonderful people. I should know, I've known your Dads all my life and when they met your Moms it wasn't hard to see how beautiful, strong and wonderful they were either.

The world is a wonderful place and I want you to embrace it all, love it, enjoy it, soak it in and do whatever makes you happy in life. All that matters is your happiness but no matter how much any of us try, we won't be able to shield you from the parts of the world that are cruel. Not everything is beautiful but if you can find the part that is, hold on to it. Don't turn away from the ugly part of it because you need it to learn, to grow, to become an even better person.

You will meet people who are less than wonderful, you're growing up in age where bullying grows worse, where it's so easy to hide behind a computer screen and cyber bully someone. Where people harm themselves and even end their lives because of the cruel words and actions of others. I want to say ignore it, to look past it and move on but it's not always that simple, trust me I know. Just remember, they bully you because they feel awful about themselves and they want to bring themselves up, I know that too. You are worth so much more than the words they'll say to you or write to you. Take it with a grain of salt, remember everyone who does love you and keep going.

When you grow up, fall in love, love with everything you are. You might end up with a broken heart but we all need to experience love as well as heartache. Don't let it make you jaded, don't let it close your heart off to future love, no matter how much it hurts. One day you WILL love again,  I promise you that.

Go to school for something you love, not what everyone thinks you should do. Why learn something you hate only to have a job you hate? Do something that makes you happy. Whether it's being a Doctor, a Lawyer, an Actor, a Pro Football player, heck, even a Pro Wrestler. If it makes you happy, that's all that matters. If it takes you years to figure it out, it's okay. There isn't always a clear path, it takes some of us longer to figure it out and that's okay too. Just don't get too disheartened and if you do, come talk to me and ask me how long it took.

Know that no matter what happens, we will always be there for you, I will always be there for you. I never thought it possible to love someone so much as when I held each of you in my arms and I will do everything in my power to protect you, to look after you, to help you achieve each and every single dream that you have. The sky is the limit for you. Reach for the sky because even if you miss, you'll still be amongst the stars. Cliches' you will hear all through your life but they're true. You can do anything you put your minds too, you can achieve whatever you want.

And when you do, your Auntie will be there cheering you on, supporting you and above all else, loving you.


Love forever and Always,
Your Auntie.